Preparing: Reading 3
To Everything There Is a Season.
Predictable Phases
Mentoring relationships progress through four predictable phases: preparing,
negotiating, enabling, and coming to closure. These phrases build on one another
to form a developmental sequence, which varies in length from one relationship
to another.
The concept of phases in mentoring relationships in not a new one (Kram,
1988; Phillips-Jones, 1982; Missirian, 1982). The phases presented in this
section are less bound by time definition and psychological milestones and more
focused on the behaviors required to move through each of the stages. Regular
reflection throughout the duration of the mentoring relationship empowers the
mentor’s learning, which in turn informs, and potentially strengthens, the
facilitation process. Reflection, in combination with the key elements of
readiness, opportunity, and support, forms the scaffolding (or structure) for
facilitating the learning that takes place throughout each phase.
The Phases
Preparing, negotiating, enabling, and coming to closure are part of every
mentoring relationship, formal and informal. Awareness of the phases is a key
factor in successful mentorship relationships. When they are taken for granted
or skipped over, they can have a negative impact on the relationship. Simply
being aware of them provides significant signposts.
Movement through the four phases follows a fluid yet predictable cycle,
and usually has some overlap between phases. Thus, during the enabling phase,
when mentoring partners are most likely to face potential obstacles (perhaps a
geographical move), they may need to renegotiate aspects of their mentoring
partnership agreement in order to move forward and maintain the relationship.
Preparing
Each mentoring relationship is unique. So each time a new mentoring relationship
begins, both mentor and mentee must prepare individually and in partnership.
Tilling the soil before planting can involve a number of processes
(Piercy, 1982): fertilizing, aerating, cultivating, plowing, and so on.
Similarly in the preparing phase of a mentoring relationship, a variety of
processes take place. Mentors explore personal motivation and their readiness to
be a mentor. They asses their mentoring skills to identify areas for their own
learning and development. Clarity about both expectation and role is essential
for establishing a productive mentoring relationship.
Preparing is also a discovery process. The mentor evaluates the viability
of the prospective mentor-mentee relationship. A prospecting conversation with
the mentee assists in making that determination. This initial conversation then
sets the tone for the relationship.
Negotiating
Successfully completing the negotiating phase is like plangent the seeds that
lead to the fruition of the mentoring relationship. Planting seeds in
well-cultivated soil produces growth. Negotiating is the business phases of the
relationships-the time when mentoring partners come to agreement on learning
goals and define the content and process of the relationship.
Negotiating is not as simple as drawing up an agreement. A key part is
the conversation that leads up to it, when the ground rules for moving the
relationship forward are developed. The negotiating phase has more to do with
creating a shared understanding about assumptions, expectations, goals, and
needs than actually putting a formal agreement in writing. It involves talking
about some of the soft issues in a relationship –topics like confidentiality,
boundaries, and limits, which often are left out of mentoring conversation
because the partners find these issues difficult to talk about. Although some
individuals are concerned that such a discussion undermines trust, it actually
lays a solid foundation for building trust.
Another way of describing the negotiation phase is “the detail phase.”
This is when the details of when and how to meet, responsibilities, criteria for
success, accountability, and bringing the relationship to closure are mutually
articulated.
Enabling
The enabling phase takes longer to complete than the other three phases since
this phase is the implantation phase of the learning relationship, when most of
the contact between mentoring partners take place. It is complex. Although it
offers the greatest opportunity for nurturing learning and development, the
mentoring partners are also most vulnerable to myriad obstacles that can
contribute to a derailment of the relationship.
Event when goals are clearly articulated, the process well defined, and
the milestones identified, every relationship must find its own path. The
enabling phase is a process of path building: maintaining a sufficient level of
trust to develop the quality of the mentoring relationship and promote learning.
Effective communication is key.
The mentor’s role during this phase is to nurture the mentee’s growth by
establishing and maintaining an open and affirming learning climate and
providing thoughtful, timely, candid, and constructive feedback. Both the mentor
and the mentee monitor the learning process to ensure that the mentee’s learning
goals are being met.
Coming to Closure
Coming to closure is an evolutionary process that has a beginning (establishing
closure protocols when setting up a mentoring agreement), a middle (anticipating
and addressing obstacles along the way), and an end (ensuring that there has
been positive learning, no matter what the circumstances). All three components
are necessary for satisfactory closure.
A relationship may start out splendidly, with the mentoring partners
respecting each other, sharing mutual interests, and developing good rapport.
Suddenly the spark goes out. When this happens, mentors often find that working
their way back through the phases enables them to evaluate and refashion a
stalled relationship into a productive and mutually satisfying experience. Being
aware of signals that indicate it is time for closure helps to ensure a timely
and positive closure.
Closure involves evaluating, acknowledging, and celebrating achievement
of learning outcomes. Mentors, as well as mentees, can benefit from closure.
When closure is seen as an opportunity to evaluate personal learning and apply
that learning to other relationships and situations, mentors leverage their own
learning and growth and reap the full harvest of the relationship.
Using the Four-Phase Model
In Tuesdays with Morrie (1997), Mitch
Albom describes an extraordinary relationship with his former mentor and coach,
Morrie Schwartz. Albom and Morrie had reestablished contact after many years and
because of their previous history determined that they had a mutuality of
interest in continuing the relationship (preparing).
Morrie, who was Albom’s teacher, was
dying from Lou Gehrig’s disease, and his time and energy were at a premium.
Albom and Morrie decide to meet regularly, every Tuesday (negotiating).
For fourteen Tuesdays after their reunion, Morrie shared the wisdom he had
gathered over the year (enabling).
Throughout the relationship, they prepared for
closure, knowing that closure would
happen when Morrie died. Although they were unaware of it, their relationship
followed the predictable four phases.